I can´t believe this is the same life. when I read the last post from not even 2 weeks ago, I am astonished in what state I was back then. somewhere on the way to france, I must have forgotten what I have been so stressed out about.
With my close friend B. I was on my way to a Yoga Festival in the middle of France listening to 90s DJs music and dancing in the car. We decided to take a break after the main part of driving and stay one last night in civilization before entering the realm of spiritual bliss and dreadful smelly bathrooms. So we stopped at our favorite budget hotel chain we had discovered two years ago on our first trip together. When we lay in bed at night I was excited about arriving on the next day. But I had already left behind all the drama of those last endless weeks. I had already forgotten how I had sleepless nights wondering if anyone would give me any money for my studio, whether I will be able to sustain myself or be supported enough financially whilst not working... and here I was, my mind in a perfect repression state of relaxation, on a road trip with B. and my credit card that looked like it will pay for almost anything for the next 100 years.
The next morning the energy had changed. The excitment had been exchanged for some kind of reluctance and we discontentedly continued our journey. the closer we came to the festvial ground, the bigger the resistance grew. we had learned int he past 2 years that going to an intense yoga festival is a big process of letting go and cleansing, and anyone who was ever confronted with the potential lethal impact that the odour of physical results of letting go can have, will have a vague idea when I say, sometimes it is hard to bear.
so instead of going straight to our destination, we stopped again in one of france´s famous shopping malls including a 'hypermarché' which should satisfy our desire for consumption in advance for the whole week. Equipped with an over-sized shopping-cart we travelled our way through endless shelves and freezing dairy zones, shopped fruit and veggies, decaf soluble coffee and long-lasting milk (important survival devices on a yoga festival) and the inevitable accessoire, a pink beach bag. not to mention a new beautiful scarf at an 'esprit' store (was half price), an emergency white pants just in case the yoga gear in the suitcase doesn´t last in the end (it was also half price) and some lovely necklaces and matching earings (2 for 1) that just went too well with my outfit for not taking them.
When we left the parking space, the car was so fully loaded I could feel the weight when trying to accelerate.
A strong feeling of sadness was slowly creeping up on me approaching the festival venue, and on the last break with our lunch of carrot salad and tabouleh, I hardly managed to get the food down I was so anxious. So we took a deep breath, turned on the music really loud, and finally made it to our destination: a week full of yoga and confrontation, sun and music, beautiful friends and intense emotional releases amidst a huge crowd of roughly 2,500 people experiencing more or less the same. congratulations, you arrived in the land of pain and pleasure.
to be continued...
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